Lighthouse Forever

2007-04-09T23:42:00.000-06:00

You Communicate With Your Ears

You love conversations, both as a listener and a talker.
What people say is important to you, and you're often most affected by words, not actions.
You love to hear complements from others. And when you're upset, you often talk to yourself.
Music is very important to you. It's difficult to find you without your iPod.

How Do You Communicate?

Fall Down!

2007-04-09T22:37:00.000-06:00

Superchick Song:
Fall Down!
I'm not afraid to fall
It means I climbed up high
To fall is not to fail
You fail when you don't try

Not afraid to fall
I might just learn to fly
And I will spread these wings of mine

If I get up I might fall back down again
So let's get up, come on
If I get up I might fall back down again
But we get up anyway
If I get up I might fall back down again
So let's get up, come on
If I get up I might fall back down again
And I might fall back down again

And we'll just jump and see
Even if it's the 20th time
We'll just jump and see if we can fly

I'm not afraid to fall
And here I told you so
Don't want to rock the boat
But I just had to know..
Just a greener side,
Or can I touch the sky?
But either way,
I will have tried

If I get up I might fall back down again
So let's get up, come on
If I get up I might fall back down again
But we get up anyway
If I get up I might fall back down again
So let's get up, come on
If I get up I might fall back down again
And I might fall back down again

And we'll just jump and see
Even if it's the 30th time
We'll just jump and see if we can fly

I'm not afraid to fall
I've fallen many times
They laughed when I fell down
But I have dared to climb
Not afraid to fall
I know I'll fall again
But I can win this in the end

If I get up I might fall back down again
So let's get up, come on
If I get up I might fall back down again
But we get up anyway
If I get up I might fall back down again
So let's get up, come on
If I get up I might fall back down again
And I might fall back down again

And we'll just jump and see
Even if it's the 40th time
We'll just jump and see if we can fly

If I get up I might fall back down again
So let's get up, come on
If I get up I might fall back down again
But we get up anyway
If I get up I might fall back down again
So let's get up, come on
If I get up I might fall back down again
And I might fall back down again

Bumps in the road

2007-03-12T16:20:00.000-06:00

This is the post that I wrote a long time ago and said I was waiting for pictures to put with it...I came across it and since I'm struggling big time and am no longer just 10 pounds away from my goal (but quite a bit more) I thought I'd put it out there and hope it encourages others as well as myself - it seems carebear and I are once again on a journey - if you think of me, please pray...life is rough these days

My God can do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine.

Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope. Ephesians 3:20 (NLT)
Amen and Amen! Ask me or my travelling buddy (care bear) even 10 months ago if we thought we would be where we are and you would get a resounding NO.

But God is so much bigger than all this. He can overcome anything. He can use a young man to slay a giant. He can use a man with faith and a staff to part the waters. How about the beauty of a young woman to save a nation.
David was a man after God's own heart and Moses was a friend of God. And Esther - she submitted to her uncle and obeyed him.
Moses argued with God, but he did submit.

I struggled big time with letting go of my sin. It's so much easier to just stay in your comfort zone and keep on living the way you are used to. But God had a much better life for me. One of adventure and freedom and fun - one that I may have never known.

Being overweight has been something that I have struggled with since I was in grade 4. This was when kids first started to tease me about being "fat." There were many teasing sessions that deeply wounded me. One story is kind of funny now that I think about it, but it wounded me for many years. We were playing baseball in the gym in grade 4. I was running from 2nd to 3rd base and Andy Dallen was the 3rd baseman and was trying to catch the ball or stop me from getting to the base or something. So I was running to third base and just about there and the next thing I know is that I'm sitting on Andy on 3rd base. It was totally by accident, but I really wanted to get on 3rd base and he was blocking my way. I remember everyone was laughing and then Andy yelled "get off of me you fat cow" --ouch-- all was funny and then all was not.
I think that's when I started to dislike sports. Track and field days I would always stay home or get a note saying I couldn't compete. Sports became something that was of too much competition and I got made fun of and so I often 'didn't feel well' etc.
And so the weight heightened and widened and tightened.

I had a few weight losses around the end of grade 12, during Bethany, and in Hawaii/Brazil but they too weren't lasting and might I add some not really healthy.

It was March 2005 that a fresh seed of hope was planted in me and I joined Curves. I thought, like many times, that this was it - this was the time I would actually overcome this for good. I lost 6 pounds in the next 8 months. This wasn't quite the rate I was looking for as it would take me half my life to lose the weight I needed to lose.
Care bear started her journey around September 2005 and asked me to join. I wasn't ready to give up my flesh my food or my new clothes that I had recently purchased for big $$$. I saw Care bear being transformed inwardly and outwardly and desired that so much. Many times I would pull her aside and ask questions and just want to give up or give in. It wasn't until mid November 2005 that I finally gave. I was at the end of my rope and I was ready to surrender to God and walk in obedience to Him and walk away from gluttony. Even then I had my doubts, but Care bear was there to encourage me and lead the way.

So now 7 months later and I'm still walking this journey. And so far on this journey I have lost 44 pounds and reached a healthy BMI (Body Mass Index). The journey that Care bear and I have been on has progressed from mother/daughter to travelling buddies. And the journey is not over. I am still going to lose another 18 pounds and Care bear has another 10 to go (see care bear's story at www.carebearsunshine.blogspot.com --February 7, 2006). Care bear and I are both walking with other people on this journey of overcoming.

We are overcoming only because of the grace of God. He called and we obeyed. That's all it takes is a willing heart. God can do anything. This mountain isn't so big anymore. We are almost at the top, we've had many breathers on the way, but we won't stop until we've seen the view. We can't get the whole picture until we finish the race.
Moses obeyed and look what kind of journey God took Him on. We can expect an amazing adventure too!
I pray that whatever journey God has you on will be marked with persistence and perseverance. Don't stop until you've seen the bigger picture. Until you've seen why God led you down this path.
The view is gonna be great -- I can hardly wait!

With God all things are possible.

Life Happened Upon Me

2007-01-25T16:42:00.000-06:00

I don't write this as much for you as I do for me...I doubt anyone even comes here anymore so I could probably say whatever I wanted and no one would know...hehehe. But in some ways I guess I do want to put out a little post just so I can "say" I did it and be done with it.

Anyways, I am super pumped to go on my long awaited holiday! My Dad is finally able to fulfill his promise (that he made when I was in high school) and take our family to Hawaii!!! We leave next thursday February 1st and are back on February 16th. But really, I can't decide if I'm more excited to go to Hawaii or to see my brother, Robin, whom I haven't seen since July. In exactly one week I will be in a plane or in an airport waiting to board a plane. In one week and one day I will wake up to paradise! Warm sun, palm trees, coconuts, hula dancers, pina coladas (hehe - just joking), crowded beaches, ashfault and sky skrapers - bada dum! Ok so maybe not the same Hawaii that I encountered, but I'll try to make the best of it.

Weeeeeee, I really am excited. But I think I'm even more thrilled that Jesus has put me back on track. Life happened upon me as I let it happen and my world got turned upside down and inside out. I'm doing so much better. There is always room for improvement, but I'm glad that I'm not going on this holiday with the attitude that I just need to get out of here and take a break from everything. It's never a good idea to run...and I really prefer not to run, so I'm glad that the pieces are starting to fall back into place (new places definitely) but things are getting settled.

I should say that anyone who reads this will get a present. Haha... I think that it would make my shopping list very small for Hawaii.

Anyways, I did it, I deserve a gold star. Next time it probably won't take 9 months or whatever...but if you want to know about my life you gotta get together with me...end of story.

Problems in blogger world

2006-06-27T10:22:00.000-06:00

So I have this post all written up, but for some reason I can't put pictures with it. So I guess you'll just have to wait because I'm not going to post it without pictures. Maybe one of my friends can help me out and let me know if I'm doing something wrong of if it's my computer or if it's just blogger.com...the joys of technology

All ABROAD

2006-05-13T17:19:00.000-06:00

I am Africa bound
Out to Explore Uganda
Set on Seeing Jinja

Purpose: To be a light to many nations
Mission: To play and teach Children and be a joy.

God has once again awakened my heart to a dream. One that will come to fruition very soon.
There is so much more to life than working, and living selfishly. God has given me a heart of love for people and I am excited to give that love to people and children that are so desperately need.
As I'm getting excited about my dream, I hope you will get almost as excited with me too. I will probably leave in the fall after Thanksgiving and my Grandpa's and Grandma's Anniversary. I plan on going for 6 months.

Here are some pictures to give you a better idea of where I will be...more pictures to come soon.

~There is no better place than right smack in the middle of God's will~

2006-03-13T21:32:00.000-06:00

'Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.' ~ Franklin P. Jones

'Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.' ~ Oprah Winfrey

'Life is not a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a pretty well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming... WOW! What a ride!'

'I think the thing to do is to enjoy the ride while you're on it.' ~ Johnny Depp

Welcome to March

2006-03-01T20:36:00.000-06:00

Wow. How terrific and exciting and adventurous and exhilirating and wonderful. I love snow! I love it when we have deep snow. I would love it even more if I could curl up with a good book and just watch it snow, but life carries on.
I had quite the adventure getting to work today. When I came inside lastnight it had just started to bring down a bit of freezing rain. I checked the forecast and it said 1-2cm of snow in the next two days--that's not too bad, I can still walk to work--was my thoughts.
I woke up this morning and my mom said my car was covered in about a half foot of snow. I was running late and it was too late to phone and ask my dad for a ride. So I shovelled off my car--atleast that's what it felt like. I went to get into my running car and the door had locked itself. I didn't lock it, my door has problems sometimes and so it locked itself. I was already running late and I had really wanted to be 5 minutes earlier than usual. I went to the house and got the key and realized that the one day where my hair took no effort and looked absolutely perfect ended up on the wrong day. I quickly reblow -dryed it, put my hood on and rushed out to my car.

Driving wasn't too bad. There were more cars than usual but probably just because everyone was running late. My windshield was having problems staying clean - guess I forgot to clean the blades off.
I got to my halfway point - the place where I park but still have to walk for 5-10 minutes to my workplace. I was the first one to cut or recut the first part of the path. I thought I would run it to get it over faster but wearing ancle socks and running wasn't such a good idea. The bridge had odd trails here and there from people. I picked the best one and hurried along. Very very few sidewalks were shovelled. I was about 1 block away from my destination and was getting frustrated. I think it had started to build since I left home and one thing just topped the next. I got to the corner by the clock and a man just passed me and I was finally on a sidewalk that had been shovelled for a few feet, but it was too late. In my mind, and almost outloud, I yelled --THIS IS NOT FUN ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!! Ahhh, that felt good. I carried on and reached my destination...15 minutes late. Unsure if my co-worker would be unhappy with my late arrival I entered cautiously and cheerfully. Yes, she was happy, and was able to laugh at my adventure of getting to work. Thankyou Jesus.

During the day I was thinking of how much I love snow and winter --but not so much the cold-- and how I hadn't really done any winter activities. I didn't make a snowman, or go skating. I went sledding all of 2 times and cross country skiing once. I know a big reason is because the person I used to do these things with is no longer part of my life and my other friends are too busy or don't like these types of activities. I think I may just build a snowman on my own. Maybe I'll go skating this weekend and I know of 2 girls that would absolutely have a blast going sledding with me. I'm going to enjoy this winter in March. I know the snow will only be around for so long and I don't want to think back and regret that I didn't do things I love so much.

Ahhh, but walking twice a day in the snow, it may be challenging, but so breathtakingly beautiful, free and peaceful.

Thankyou Jesus for the snow.

Johari Window

2006-02-25T22:46:00.001-06:00

Http://kevan.org/johari?name=Lighthouse+Forever

Technology...ugh

2006-02-25T01:38:00.000-06:00

spent the last hour or so trying to figure out how to post pictures...its useless...time wasted well.

Valiant

2006-02-25T00:23:00.000-06:00

'As homing pigeons it's our duty to transport messages in the worst of conditions; wind, rain, sleet, snow, bombs exploding, bullets flying. And as if that weren't enough, mother nature has the odacity to create the falcon. 20 lbs of pigeon eating muscle.'
'These new recruits are our only chance.'
'We're the ones they pick to send to the most important missions.'

I would think that's quite a bit like my life, and probably yours too.

A date with my brother

2006-02-12T15:33:00.000-06:00

Ok, let me just get this out there. Yes I have four, 4, quatro, quatre, vier, cuatro, quattro, yes four brothers.

My oldest brother Darren, phoned on Tuesday because he was coming to s'toon this weekend. He oversees referees for the WHL (Western Hockey League) and was going to be overseeing the Blades game on Saturday night. I knew that he used to oversee the referees but he made it sound like he was actually going to be refereeing the game. I told him maybe I would come out and see him and that I've been wanting to go to a hockey game this year. He said we can make that work, and that was the end of that. The next morning my mom told me that Darren had told my Dad to pass on the message that I was going to the game with Darren. Because I still thought he was refereeing I asked my dad if I could take a friend and he just said to leave it alone but that Darren had some good things planned for me.

Now me being a Melancholy (as Carebear would say) I think about things and wonder what has he got planned. I thought maybe he would have me sit in the score box, or maybe he was going to introduce me to all the players. That would be fun to meet the players if I was like 13 years younger, but I'm 23. Then I joked that maybe he'll have me on skates and I'll just chase him around the rink while the game is on. My mom said "what if he's going to set you up with a boy" OH GREAT! (not a good OH GREAT!) I had been joking with him on the phone. He asked if I was getting married soon and I told him no, but maybe close to getting a boyfriend. He thought that was quite funny. (And no, there is nothing you don't know about, just wishful thinking) So I was a little concerned that maybe he was going to set me up with someone. I knew that God would take care of me and that I didn't have to worry about it. So I just got more and more excited

I was so extremely pumped just to go and hang out with him. I've never just hung out with him and so this was and is a big thing. So he came and picked me up at 6pm and then we went and got my second oldest brother, Dean, and he came to the game as well. We went in the restricted access enterance and then went to a table where Darren whipped out three passes that get you into any game anywhere. He's all dressed up in a suit and says "they're with me."

We then went to the media room which is on the same level as the rink, but also restricted access. They had 6 leather couches in there and a big tv with another hockey game playing. They had donuts and coffee and hot chocolate for all the uppidy people. I was introduced to some guy that writes a column for something. He looked a little familiar but his name went in one ear and out the other. Probably because there were lots of old men gawking at me, some young girl. That guy I was introduced to, Darren asked him if he was going up, and he said yes, Darren said I'll see you up there. I still had no idea what "up" meant or if it was just him going up and we were going to sit somewhere else.

We left the media room and then took the "restricted acces" elevator up to the 3rd floor. Darren showed a pass again to a security guy and again said "they're with me" we walked up some steps, across a bridge thing and down some steps into THE PRESS BOX! I GOT TO WATCH THE GAME FROM THE PRESS BOX! How exciting. I was just in awe that this is were I get to watch the whole game from. Darren said to me "it's quite a different view from up here, hey Chels" I'd say! I really liked it. We were level with the score box, tv thingy and the game was like right there below us. These were definitely the best seats in the house. I was so pumped and excited. I took a few pictures, but I don't know how to add them so I guess you'll have to live without.
The Blades lost to the Prince George Cougars 5-6, but there were 2 goals by the Blades in the last 30 seconds which was pretty exciting. Both my brothers said that the Blades must have scratched their entire defense because only 1 or 2 goals was the fault of the goalie. No fights either, which is kinda too bad because then there isn't much excitement, but I think God likes it better when there are no fights.

So that was my exciting Saturday evening, hanging out with 2 of my brothers!

You make me............beautiful

2006-02-10T17:56:00.001-06:00

I have been absolutely overwhelmed lately. Overwhelmed with life, but that doesn't even come remotely close to how overwhelmed I am by my God.

When I sang at Concerts of the Heart I really thought that I had dealt with all the issues and insecurities of being beautiful. I walked down the steps to sit down, that night, and truly believed and knew that what I just sang was true...that God makes me beautiful. I walked like that for a few months atleast.

I just want to clarify that I don't think I'm ugly, I know there was a day when I thought I wasn't nice to look at, but as of the last year I felt that I was just ok.

I guess in order for this to make sense I need to share another journey of my life. For the last 13 weeks I have been on a journey of giving God total Lordship of food and eating. Because of God giving me the strength to lay myself down I have lost 23+ pounds (I find out tomorrow how much more)

People have been noticing and friends come up to me and some are just in shock and say "oh my goodness Chels, you look Amazing!"
So many sisters and girl friends are telling me that I am beautiful and one sister said that sometimes when we get together she just stares at me because she thinks I'm so beautiful.

To be quite honest I find it hard to take. Someone cautioned me not to let it go to my head, but I know that at this point there is no way it can go to my head because how can anything go to my head when I don't really feel that it's true sometimes.

And to help matters more I heard from a source that when asked a certain guy said I was cute! I'm just blown away. I don't know how to take it, but I'm learning to say thank you and to let God work in my heart and have Him confirm and let me know that I Am beautiful.

What is way more important to me is the inside. One of my mom's friends said the other day that there's this glow about me. Thank you Jesus. She didn't know what it was all about, but I have been given amazingly abundant amounts of freedom these last few months in different journeys I'm on and I'm so thankful that it is shining through. I am becoming a whole person again, or maybe for the first time.

A dear sister said the other day that it just doesn't fit. Someone who is so beautiful on the outside, but even more beautiful on the inside. Someone who cares so deeply for others and SHE'S STILL SINGLE! I know it doesn't fit, but it fits into God's plan and that's all I'm living for.

Does anyone recognize me? Does anyone remember the old me? I don't want to make this seem all self-centered, but look at me, remember me, this is not me! Who is this? Who is this? I couldn't have planned this. I wouldn't have dreamed of asking for this.
I AM ABSOLUTELY BLOWN AWAY BY MY GOD!

Of course I'm beautiful, and its all for His purpose! I will use what He has gifted me with for His good so that many may see this light, know Him and follow Him.

one of these things

2006-01-04T18:36:00.000-06:00

I've been tagged by Livin Forgiven

7 Things I would like to do before I die

- go to Africa
- live on my own
- get married
- have a family
- become the gem God created me to be
- write a childrens book
- write a song

7 Things I can't do (yet)
- water ski or ski
- run for a long time
- be real at all times
- Cross-country ski real good
- talk to my X
- make wine

7 Things that attract me to blogging
- I like to hear how others are doing and what they are learning
- I like to write...sometimes
- to be connected with those that I usually wouldn't be connected with
- able to be honest and see others honesty and openness
- to encourage and be encouraged
- to see how God is moving

7 things I say most often

#1!!!! Hmmmmm
- like
- as if
- great scott
- I'm sorry
- holy cow (gotta work on that one)
- oh ok
- thank you

7 books I love

- The Bible
- What's a girl to do
- Every young woman's battle
- Just Like Jesus
- It's not about Me
- Hinds feet on High Places
- Every Day with Jesus (devotional)

7 movies I watch over and over
(I usually only watch a movie once)
- Save the last dance

.....how about movies I like
- How to lose a guy in 10 days
- Hitch
- Ocean's Eleven
- Ocean's Twelve
- 50 First Dates
- Save the last dance
- Finding Forrester
- Mona lisa Smile

7 People I want to Join in too
- whoever wants to do it...just let me know you did it and I'll come see

Giving to those who need

2005-12-30T18:05:00.000-06:00

Christmas has come and gone and am I ever glad! This year it just didn't seem much like Christmas to me. I didn't get my white Christmas because there was no snow in Airdrie. I was kinda disappointed about that, but because the weather was soooo nice I got to go for a walk on my own on Christmas day that was most enjoyable. This has sort of become my tradition. I love having and hour or two on Christmas day to go for a walk and just enjoy nature, God and time by myself.

My mom had told me that she was doing something small for Christmas...in other words buying a few gifts. I was not very impressed when she told me this because I had thought we weren't doing anything. She told me that she was only buying things that she wanted to get for me/us. So the stress began, and although I knew there was no pressure to buy, I was trying to figure out what to buy. I had said to someone that if we were doing Christmas presents, I would really like to donate on behalf of the person for people in need. God reminded me of this and so for my brother was donated 4 bunnies to go to a family in Cambodia for food and for a source of income since the bunnies multiply so fast. For my dad, 4 chickens to a family in Cambodia for food and a start of a small business. And my mom, enough seeds to supply a family with fresh vegetables for a whole year (in Uganda). I bought them other little things, but not as important as this gift.

They all really appreciated it because they knew that instead of getting "junk" that they didn't really need, nor would remember who they got it from and why, they were contributing to some people that really needed food. They could be supplying the only food and income that that family was getting. This kind of giving felt good. I know I'll do it again next year.

I don't think I even really got into the Christmas spirit this year. God is doing some major re-organizing and re-decorating in my heart. He's moving around the furniture and getting rid of some of the old useless stuff. I can actually say it's fun. It hurts at times but I can see the bigger picture and that makes everything a-ok.

Hope you all had a Wonderful Christmas and remembered the true meaning of the season. Hope you didn't get caught up in the hubb-bubb of it all.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot... My Mom got me the best present ever. . . I was planning on buying a whole bunch of fun things, like jump ropes, chalk, marbles, jax, a parachute and all these different fun things before I went to Africa so I'd have all these fun things to play with the Children with...well, My mom bought me a PARACHUTE!!!! I am so excited, and am all ready to go again....funds always do cause a problem though.

Being put to the test

2005-12-14T19:27:00.000-06:00

What is temptation?
- The act of tempting or the condition of being tempted.
- Something tempting or enticing

- something that seduces or has the quality to seduce
- the desire to have or do something that you know you should avoid

- (1.) Trial; a being put to the test. Thus God "tempted [Gen. 22: 1; R.V., 'didprove'] Abraham;" and afflictions are said to tempt, i.e., to try, men (James1:2, 12; comp. Deut. 8:2), putting their faith and patience to the test.
- (2.)Ordinarily, however, the word means solicitation to that which is evil, andhence Satan is called "the tempter" (Matt. 4:3). Our Lord was in this waytempted in the wilderness. That temptation was not internal, but by a real,active, subtle being. It was not self-sought. It was submitted to as an act ofobedience on his part. "Christ was led, driven. An unseen personal force borehim a certain violence is implied in the words" (Matt. 4:1-11). The scene ofthe temptation of our Lord is generally supposed to have been the mountain ofQuarantania (q.v.), "a high and precipitous wall of rock, 1,200 or 1,500 feetabove the plain west of Jordan, near Jericho." Temptation is common to all(Dan. 12:10; Zech. 13:9; Ps. 66:10; Luke 22:31, 40; Heb. 11:17; James 1:12; 1Pet. 1:7; 4:12). We read of the temptation of Joseph (Gen. 39), of David (2Sam. 24; 1 Chr. 21), of Hezekiah (2 Chr. 32:31), of Daniel (Dan. 6), etc. Solong as we are in this world we are exposed to temptations, and need ever to be on our watch against them.

Temptation surrounds me daily. It comes in different forms, but for me I believe it comes in one major form or should I say thorn most of the time. My daily devotional book has been talking about temptation for the last while and I am so glad that God is teaching me how to deal with temptation better.
'And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.' 1 Corinthians 10:13

"The faithfulness of God's promise does not consist in delivering us from the place of temptation but in never allowing the temptation to be greater than our power to resist."

If that's the case then how come I fail and fail and fail again? Obviously my self-control isn't very high, but then someone has told a few times lately that "man, you have self-control." Or is it because when I know people are watching I know I have to behave? The other day I was dishonest to myself by not keeping track of something correctly because I knew that I was being kept accountable for it and I didn't want her to know I messed up. Then today she told me she messed up and was sorry and God showed me how silly I was being. "She's real Chelsea, she knows what it's like and she will accept you even if you messed up. How did you feel when she told you that she messed up? Compassionate, loving, that I needed to pray for her more...She feels the same way. Don't hide just be real." So I corrected it and I may reap the personal consequences for it. ok.

'...no weapon forged against you will prevail...' Isaiah54:17
Temptation has a purpose. "'as we grapple we grow.' Goethe said, 'Difficulties prove men.'"
We can't just bear temptation we have to learn to do something with it. "'Jesus didn't just carry His cross - He used it'...A stoic bears a cross; a Christian uses it and makes it bear him."
So is this what it means to 'deny yourself, pick up your cross and follow Him" Follow His example and don't go complaining or dragging your lip in the snow, use your cross. I don't know what this means but it sounds good to me. I'm tired of the "woe is me, chelsea, poor me, oh no I lost my tail.

It's not what comes to you that matters, it's what you do with it that counts...but what do I do with it? Just tell me and I'll do it, I just need to know what I do with it when it comes. Unfortunately life isn't that simple. I think that's for me to figure out on my own. So if what I have been doing doesn't work then why do I keep on doing it?

'Consider it pure joy...whenever you face trials...because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance.' James 1:2,3

Everything can be used to higher us, including temptation, with the help of God. "A young army officer, involved in the Iraq war, was asked by a television reporter, 'But isn't the weather unfavourable?' He replied, 'Weather in war is always favourable - providing you know how to use it.'"
Everything can advance us if we know how to use it.
'Temptation sweeps in upon us and forces its way into our lives without our asking (and sometimes without our acting), and it is then that reaction plays a vital part. We can react in self-pity and frustration or we can act with confidence and with courage, and make the temptation work to improve our character and deepen our hold upon God.'

AHA, so we should use our temptation to increase our dependence on God and drw closer to Him. Temptation has evil written all over it, but if we resist we achieve spiritual growth...and if we don't, well I think it's back into the fire, or maybe into hotter fire or the burning embers.

'Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.' James 1:12 NKJV

What a promise! What a gift! I am so thankful for this promise. I will receive the crown of life when I endure temptation and have stood the test.

'Why does God allow temptation? in order to answer that we must look at the Greek word for temptation used in the New Testament: peirasmos. It means to test, to try or to prove. The biblical use of the word (unlike the modern use of it) does not contain the idea of seduction or entrapment, but rather conveys the idea of putting a person to a test in order to deepend their personal qualities. The reason God allows temptation, then, is because it can lead to the development of our character.'
Character is developed over time. It's not something that we can achieve in a moment or something that God gives us like Salvation. Character is what we are in the dark, it's what we are when we are by ourselves, and what we are in the inside.. Reputation is what others think of us.
'Character is the strength and refinement of soul that we develop as we stand against the tide of trials and temptation. As we grapple we grow. and out of the growing comes character.'

I wish that the face I put on and my reputation (I think it's good atleast) was what I really was in the inside. Father, I ask for freedom to be real, and I ask for forgiveness for sometimes putting on a pretty face. Jesus I want to be more like you and to know you so much more than I do. Jesus if you allow temptation in order to deepen my character, then I welcome it (gently)
Thank you Jesus!

*note The italicized quotes are taken from my devotional book Every day with Jesus, Strong at the Broken Places. They aren't my thoughts and I couldn't have worded it better than them.

A truly Great Aunt

2005-11-25T23:06:00.000-06:00

My Great Aunt Katie passed away on Tuesday afternoon. I have been reflecting on many memories spent with both her and her husband Uncle Milfred and their families.

What does it mean to have Joy? To be able to laugh at yourself, when you do silly things. To laugh with others even when you have heard the joke before. To tell the same story over again, not being able to remember how many times you told it, but still make it interesting and laugh from the heart in the end. To get teased by the ones you love, and take it very well. Aunt Katie was all these and so much more.

My Aunt Katie was so full of Joy and contentment. She found such pleasure in the little things. She loved her garden and made the best pickles ever. She liked going for walks when we were over and to look around and enjoy the scenery of nature. She loved family and to be with family. She'd never miss a chance at a good game. Aunt Katie liked to watch Road to Avonlee, the Christy series and Seventh Heaven.
Aunt Katie made the best brown buns. She taught me how to make peppernuts. As a child we would go over at Easter time and paint or color Easter eggs. She loved watermelon, and would enjoy a sleigh ride every once in a while.
Uncle Milfred and Aunt Katie made the best chokecherry Jelly.
I always knew that Aunt Katie cared about me. That she cared and wanted to know about the little stories.
Aunt Katie and Uncle Milfred are just like Grandparents to me. When they heard I was going to Bible School they made sure they got my name to pray for me while I was there. When I went on my missions trip they supported me Monetarily and prayerfully. They were shining examples for me, and a great example of a healthy marriage.

So many times we forget the blessings that are in our lives. It is not until they are gone that we realize how much we have taken for granted.
It saddens me to think of the days in my life and her families lives that Aunt Katie will miss. Her Grandchildren's graduations, weddings, and great-grand children. I do not get to share with her that my dream of going to Africa is coming true, or that I will get married someday soon, or that God is breaking strongholds in my life.

But this one thing I know. That Aunt Katie's gentle yet strong spirit will spur me on. She has set great tracks for me to follow. I will follow them with all my heart, and know that I will see her again one day, that is just around the corner.

2005-09-27T19:17:00.000-06:00

Your Summer Ride is a Mini Cooper

You are all about unique, one of a kind adventures.The only thing predictable about your summer is that it's unpredictable!

What's" Your Summer Ride?

So much new, don't know how to say it!

2005-09-27T19:09:00.000-06:00

What to say! How life has changed! God has been teaching me so incredibly much these last couple of weeks. I am still here I haven't given up on this blogging thing yet, I just don't know quite what to write. I'm gonna go for a bike ride before it gets too dark!

Singleness

2005-09-08T21:52:00.000-06:00

I AM HAPPY BEING SINGLE...
I just had to say that in case I tried to tell myself otherwise...
Another friend has left singledom...I'm happy yet sad

Joyful Sorrow

2005-08-22T21:56:00.000-06:00

My brother left on Thursday to move to Kelowna. He will be staying with my Mom's cousin and husband for a couple of months until he gets a job and finds a place. They said he could stay there for 2 months. He is planning on moving there permenantely if everything works out as planned. I think this is a good step for him but I know it will be hard for him, not to mention hard for us. He wants a clean, fresh start and a clean start God will give him.

I have never lived without him. When he was in Hawaii on his DTS I was at Bible School. It's just hard because it's not like I can see him every week. I can't even see him every month. I have no clue when I'll see him next and for me that's pretty hard to deal with. I hope to atleast see him by Christmas or at Christmas.
It's going to be hard on my dad and mom too. My dad and brother would talk quite a bit. If you didn't get to know him it really is your loss. He's the kindest most giving person you could meet. He made me laugh, enjoyed bugging me, he supported me on my trip, really he's the best brother I could ask for.

Jesus be with my brother, hear his hearts cry and come running. Father help him to settle in easily. Help me and my family adjust to this, it's going to be hard...harder than I ever thought. Keep him safe and bring him a second family over there.

my deleted post...but not really

2005-08-22T21:43:00.000-06:00

This is part of the letter I sent as an update to all the people from my YWAM trip. I really feel like God deleted my last post on purpose and that He just wanted to keep it for me. I feel that no one would quite "get it" the way that God gave it to me, but this is just as important and some of my post falls into here, just more general.

My plan was to go to University in the fall to move towards getting my Bachelor of Education. I was very iffy as to whether this was where God was leading me. About 2 months ago I felt God tell me that I don't need an Education degree to work with children and that this was not where He was leading me. In a way this was a big relief because I really didn't want to be tied down for 4 years of University. I also felt that it conflicted with my other dreams. This was also kind of frustrating because I was at a point again where I didn't know what I was doing. This has been quite normal as of the last few years. I am learning that I don't need to know what I'm going to do. I just need to live the hear and now and know God is leading me right now where I am.
I can just be
This has been really important to me lately and something that I am continually learning. I can just be...I can just sit in my Daddy's presence and know that He is taking complete care of me and I do not need to worry.
I am considering and still praying about going on a missions trip. I have been thinking a lot about Brazil and also Africa. I believe that God is really speaking to me about Mozambique Africa. These are things I am praying about and I am trying to save money to go away as early as January. God will make His direction for my life clear, of that I am certain.
God is so good and so faithful, I am surrounded by people who constantly show me God's love and how much I am loved by them and God. I am learning and growing daily. Jesus really is my All in All.
An Abundance of God's blessings sent your way cuz He sure has blessed me!

Maintenance my ****

2005-08-11T22:15:00.000-06:00

So, yesterday I got home and started to write a blog. I had actually started a paragraph the night before but that was all that I had time to do. I wrote my blog from 5pm until 7:45 with a break for supper. This wasn't just any blog either that I wrote my thoughts and that was it. This was more of an update and it was something that I was going to email to all my friends from my missions trip to let them know how I was doing. This was also a blog that was asking for you to pray with me for direction. It was a very exciting blog because God revealed something to me. So at 7:45 I finished my post and went to publish it. I thought about copying it, but decided I could just copy it once it was published to send in emails. I pressed Publish post and a screen came up saying "sorry down for scheduled maintenance."
AHHHHH AHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(Just imagine that little girll from the carebears, I think her name is screech, Imagine that kind of screem real high pitched and a hissy fit type of scream.) Well, that was what was going through my head and still is. I am so not impressed. Here all these things were just flowing out of me and I spent so much time and poured my heart into that post and it just got deleted. I am so not impressed, and I am not at all looking forward to doing it again but I have to. You all need to hear the exciting news and I need to share it with the girls from my team. Until then I guess you're in suspense. Pray that God would bring it all back to me again.

So maybe this weekend I'll have time to do it again and I will be excited to do it. Until then I hear that scream going through my head. (Joe can you fix that on my computer??? Hehe)

Getting to know Me!!

2005-08-06T22:25:00.000-06:00

I've been tagged by camilli vanilli

10 years ago today...
~~ I started to go to Hope?!?! (around that long ago)
~~ I didn't have friends but I'm ok with that now
~~ I still lived on our acerage and had lots of animals
~~ probably slept in until 1pm or something like that and then watched tv in an air conditioned house

1 year ago...
~~ I had a boyfriend.
~~ I probably went fishing or did something with Justin
~~ I was making big plans and doing much organizing to go to Hawaii

Yesterday...
~~ I worked as usual. We had a slow day and I got off at 4
~~ I went to the gym.
~~ I ate supper and had another Laughing time from God during my supper (my brother didn't know what was wrong with me)
~~ I went shopping with my mom and bro for phones
~~ I got ready to go to the lake for a day at the beach

Tomorrow...
~~ Have devotions, go to church, help with Sunday School, go to Jonah's welcome home party, do laundry and clean my room, read a book and enjoy my day

5 snacks I enjoy...
fruit, crispy minis, popcorn, nutri-grain or fruit source bars, chocolate

Best impression...
myself. I don't do impressions (atleast I don't think I do)

5 things I would do with $100 000 000
give all or some to charity organizations. Give to Hope Fellowship. Buy a cabin, boat and/or my own island, go on an awesome adventure

5 locations I would like to run away to
Africa, Brazil, Hawaii, PEI, Israel

5 bad habits I have
thinking too much instead of praying, disorganization in my room, eating, picking, making myself too busy

5 things I love doing
being at the beach and swimming
fishing
anything outdoors
reading
crafty creative things

5 things I would never wear
High heel shoes
a unitard
a bikini
crazy printed stuff

5 movies I like
Hitch
Save the last dance
A walk to Remember
How to lose a guy in 10 days
Dumbo
(anything that you can get a spiritual message from and its clean

5 famous people I would love to meet
Jesus
Mother Theresa (when she was alive)
Mel Gibson
George Clooney
Julia Roberts
Julia Stiles

5 biggest joys at the moment
time to myself
time with friends
time in the sun at the beach or pool
time for reading
time for working out

5 favorite toys
my (our) computer
cd player
camera
running shoes
library card

5 people to tag
the flower lady, CWG and or wife, rachy and James

The icky awful pits

2005-08-01T10:49:00.000-06:00

I feel like crum. I always feel guilty when I miss work even if I am really sick and so in some ways I am happy that I feel poopy today and not tomorrow, but at the same time I had plans today and I don't think I can do them while feeling like this. When I get sick like this I get really zoned out. I kinda feel like the stereotypical football player...all you can think is simple sentences or better yet just foot-ball or you think about nothing at all (hence the very profound blog). Yeah, not thinking much of football, not thinking much of anything except owww...owww...oww I hurt. This too will pass and tomorrow will be a new day. Maybe next weekend I can soak up the sun.

The Klondike Man

2005-07-30T16:18:00.000-06:00

I'm not sure you could call him much of a man.

Trying to look up a word to describe him was very hard. The word that came to mind was "scum." But it means worthless, he still is made by God even though the enemy has a hold of him and is using him to belittle and use and abuse other Children of the King. Other words that came to mind were despicable, vile, but mainly just the scum of the earth. None of them are quite right or bring justice to the way I felt Wednesday evening and Thursday morning.
Some say, "Oh, they got themselves into it, it's all they are used to." Maybe they did make the first move in that direction. Sure it probably was a choice, but one that was most definitely made while on drugs or needing another fix. Some probably got pulled into it by peer pressure or an older male. It starts small and works its way up.

Knowing people who have been/are addicted to crystal meth definitely brings light into this situation for me. I know of someone who was addicted to meth. This stuff has such a hold on people. Needing a fix desperately she went to her neighbor who she barely knew and did the deed so he would give her drugs. She went home feeling horrible until she had her fix...then it all went away. But not really. This drug makes a person so greedy and selfish, all they want is more and they are willing to sell their body if it means they will get more. She slept with many men so she could get her drugs and wash her world away...and then she got pregnant. She didn't know who the dad was and felt absolutely horrible. She felt used and abused. Such a pretty girl but absolutely no confidence in herself because of these low-lifes who will actually be so perverted to sleep with a girl in exchange for drugs or money.

...And so she had an abortion, and felt even more terrible for the decision she had made. How can I raise a child when I don't know who the father is? I can't have another child now I'm too messed up. I can't give these drugs up, it's selfish, but I just can't. She drank until she was plastered the night before she had the abortion.

Wednesday night I was driving home from a party. Not that kind of party, but a birthday party. I was at the very west end of 20th street driving towards the Idylwyld Bridge in the right hand lane. I had a wonderful evening but it was 11:30 and I was tired and I knew that I would be wiped in the morning. I was full of joy and peace and just enjoying the drive home. Around St. Pauls Hospital I noticed the SUV in front of me had a licence plate other than Saskatchewan. All I could make out at first was the writing at the top saying "The Klondike." I had no clue where that would be from. A couple of blocks later this SUV started slowing down at every intersection. I was tired and wanting to get home and this was getting rather annoying. He would slow down to 30 at the intersection, just get up to 50 and slow down for the next intersection. I was very tempted to slam on my horn. I was thinking, Can't you tell that this is a main drag. These intersections are controlled you don't need to slow down. We were now a couple of blocks from Avenue H. I noticed two girls on the corner, one was helping the other re-tie or do up her halter top. I still belive that it had maybe just come undone or broke and she needed help. It was then that I noticed the male in the SUV turn and look at the girls and slow down. He had a ball cap on and I could see wherever he was looking.

A few minutes later it dawned on me as I noticed the man looking around more and more and still slowing at every intersection and looking around that he wasn't lost and he was well aware that these intersections were controlled. I also noticed that his licence plate was from the Yukon.

The SUV got to Avenue B and he turned right. I was fuming by this point and decided to turn aswell to see where he was going. He got to the intersection of 19th and was in the left hand lane. 19th and B is not a through street and so I knew if he went straight he would get stuck and I would know for sure what he was up to. but as I pulled up behing him he put his right signal light on and proceeded to turn and go up 19th (the direction he had just come from on 20th.) I knew there was no use in following him but I so badly wanted to drive up next to him, open my window and yell, JUST GO HOME!!!!!!! I drove home praying that he wouldn't be able to find anyone to use.

I didn't realize until the next morning when I was thinking about this and telling my co-worker that I had my dad's car which has a car phone in it and I could have phoned the police. Oh what pleasure would i have got out of that, although they maybe wouldn't have caught him.

Jesus, freer of all addictions I pray that you would touch all people that are bound so strongly by addictions that are not from you. Father, I pray for endless worth to be poured on these ladies and girls and that they would know that they are a Child of the Most High God and they are loved so dearly. Father I pray that men would take their rightful place as protectors and not predators of women. Jesus bring this world back into the way you intended it. Forgive us for making such a mess of things. Jesus give me even more of your heart for this land and these people, your people. It's not over until it's over, I will keep fighting until you say stop!

Life is busy.

2005-07-26T22:07:00.001-06:00

Life is busy lately. Busy isn't always good, in fact although I enjoy every day and everything I get to do when it all adds up I'm just way too busy. I intend to do something about that shortly, like keeping a day planner and having some evenings to read and do nothing and spend more time with God than usual. So until then I feel I don't really have time to even write posts. I don't know how all you bloggers do it, except that maybe you are at home the majority of the time whereas I am not. Anyways, talk to you all as soon as I get something amazing and have time to write it.

Every Young Woman's battle

2005-07-15T19:45:00.000-06:00

I was wondering if anyone had the book Every Young Woman's battle. I would like to borrow it. It was suggested to me to read that one rather than just the Woman's one due to explicit talk. I agree. I take very good care of my books and so if you lend it to me I promise to take very good care of yours. Let me know if you know someone that has it please....Thanks

Blah....Blah....Blah

2005-07-15T19:20:00.000-06:00

Still very much in a healing process...I have some issues that are bothering me, but I think that it isn't so much other peoples problem even though they are doing them but that it is more my problem. I'm not sure I should even talk about it because I'm not sure I want people to know it's an issue for me.

~~~~anyways~~~~

I believe that God has been teaching me that it is best to keep to myself when I go out with others and when I talk with others. I value friends so much and time with my friends is very precious to me. Like for example I had a wonderful time of healing and mentoring type thing with a friend of mine this week. I feel that if I would share, this would take away some of the preciousness and no one really needs to know anyways.
At one point in life I would hear that so-and-so was doing something with so-and-so and so then I would want to do something with so-and-so.....not so anymore. I truly believe that it is a game that many of us girls get trapped in. I feel that many times it comes across in pride and the attitude of "I'm so high and mighty because I have so-and-so for a friend." Well good for you and I hope God knocks you right on your butt and shows you your wrong attitude.
I'm just really peeved right now, and I don't really care if any of you got to hang out with Brad Pitt...God puts people in our lives and we are blessed by them differently. God gives us friends we need... and so keep on going on the popularity route all you want...but my moto has been and always will be....

"...Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference."

(This is a poem by R. Frost....visit this website to read)
http://www.bartleby.com/119/1.html

P.S.
This isn't really aimed at anyone and so don't take it personal....Just needed to let some frustration out.

ahhhhh....

Happy Birthday to ME!!!

2005-07-07T20:44:00.000-06:00

On Monday evening, July 4th my actual Birthday I had a small intimate party with a few girls that I am close to. (If you weren't invited please don't feel left out cuz I only invited a handful of people cuz I wanted it small.) We went to Alexander's Restaurant for supper, which had excellent food, and then went back to my house for cake and to visit. I think it was sometime at my house that God just hit me with the realization of how blessed I am with such wonderful ladies in my life that love me and that I can call friends. The last little while I've been walking a bit of a rocky road. It's been hard at times to hang out with people that are married and it's been hard to stop myself from feeling sorry for myself. God has blessed me with great friends. Thank you all for being there for me and supporting me and sticking with me on this hard walk the last little while. I am blessed immensely. I want to thank a certain someone (you know who you are) for helping me walk this journey and listen to my complaining and my hurt, my pity parties and my crying and sticking with me. Here I was looking for someone to be close with and you were right under my nose. I love you more than words can say and I am truly blessed abundantly for God to allow me to call you friend. I love you my sister. Many blessings on you and your family and everything you do!

How about a spare brother?

2005-07-07T20:32:00.000-06:00

On Canada Day evening I had the most memorable Canada Day ever. I had the privelege of hanging out with Sarah and Ninette's crazy family. I had a lot of fun (even though the pic on Sarah's blogsite says otherwise.) It probably wouldn't have been nearly as fun if I had ended up soaking wet like the rest of people at the Canada Day celebration. The fireworks were amazing and well worth the camp-out. I think that the stepped it up a notch because it was Saskatchewan's Centennial. There sure were some neww neat ones anyways. So about the fun I had...I just love the Dunlops/Waldherrs/Moores. It was a wonderful experience to see how other families interact and to know that mine isn't that much out of the ordinary...or maybe we are both very extraordinary and on our own rockers. And so I was thinking the other day and just want to double check that there isn't a single spare brother floating around in that family of Dunlops. You all bless me so much. I'd be absolutely lost without you guys. (Especially Sarah and Ninette...my best of friends) I love you soooo much...thanks for letting me tag along.

Rubber boots anyone?

2005-07-06T12:31:00.000-06:00

In case you don't know and in order for this to make sense, I'm house sitting for the Pinels from this past Saturday until this Thursday.
On Sunday it had started to rain before I headed out to the farm after church and continued to rain until I left for a few hours around 5. I got out there and everything was quite mucky and I thought it couldn't get worse. I had to go and check on the animals to make sure they had food and water. I also had to flush the well by running water outside for a while (due to them shocking the well before they left) Everything was wet and there was wetness all around. I wore shorts so my pants wouldn't get soaked and wore sandals because I didn't think to bring rubber boots. I looked outside at their front pond and it was overflowing onto the road. Then the roof started to leak right on the kitchen table. So I got a bowl, but it was leaking in three spots and the bowl was just a little too small to catch all three drips. I was just bringing a bigger bowl to the table when another leak sprung inches away from these other three leaks. This one was coming down way faster. Then as the water drop hit the bottom of the bowl it would splash everywhere...went to get rags to put in the bottom of the bowl.
Monday morning, I woke up on my Birthday and got ready for work. I was running late for work and knew that I would be a little late. I decided to turn right when I got to the end of the driveway. (I actually asked God which way to go, and I believed that He said to go to the right)
I turned the corner and the road wasn't very good. My mom had told me the key to dirt roads is not to stop but not to go fast. I was going about 30 over this not so nice area of road...then I saw there was some nice road ahead. It was more sandy and there were tracks on top of the road instead of sunken in. I thought I was in for some smooth sailing. Ahead I saw some water on the road and knew that I would be having some fun ahead again. I guess I was paying too much attention to the puddle ahead and not enough to the road right in front of me. I went sliding to the left and almost hit the ditch....sliding to the right and almost hit the ditch...sliding to the left and barely hit the ditch. If I had been driving an automatic I probably wouldn't have had this problem, but I'm just new to driving standard and so I was trying to remember to hit the clutch before the brake and put it in neutral and so my reaction time wasn't quite there. I wasn't in the ditch too bad, but my attempt to get out only made it worse by crawling forward and getting my front tires stuck in a puddle of water. I grabbed some of my things from the car and started my journey back to the house. It wasn't nearly as far as I thought, but trying to stay on my feet was very interesting. I was picturing in my mind, me falling on my butt slipping in the mudd. Another adventure was not needed for my birthday. Walking home I told myself, I'm just making memories. I'll never forget the morning of my 23 Birthday...no harm done

p.s. some nice neighbor with a tractor pulled the car out of the ditch before my dad and Warren got to it.

It's all about ME!!!!

2005-07-06T12:27:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I go to read my comments on one of my previous blogs and all the comments are about "the blogless one." Now, I don't know if you all have figured this out or not, but this is MY BLOG!!! My blog is all about me, so everyone talk about me! LOL. So blogless one, instead of everyone using my site to talk about you, you should just get your own. I am still totally clueless as to who you are, but I would love to get that book that your children read that helped them with cleaning. So, from now on everyone talk about ME and everyone look at ME!!! LOL

YEAH!!!

2005-07-06T12:26:00.000-06:00

Oh my goodness I can actually write a blog!!! I think it must be Gilles and Lloannes computer that won't let me cuz I'm at the library. So watch out here come the blogs.

All I can write is a title...help...

2005-07-05T22:15:00.000-06:00

I HAVE LIKE 5 BLOGS I WANT TO WRITE

2005-07-05T22:14:00.000-06:00

NO!!! IT WON'T LET ME WRITE A BLOG!!!

2005-07-05T22:13:00.000-06:00

I can't write a post!!! help!!!!

2005-07-03T16:20:00.000-06:00

It's all about ME!

2005-07-03T15:48:00.000-06:00

I GET TO GO FISHING!!!

2005-06-28T12:46:00.000-06:00

I am so pumped that I get to go fishing. My Dad, brother and myself are going on friday or saturday...or maybe both. We actually get to go in a boat to...but we have to paddle out. I have to get my boating license because my Dad doesn't want to get it and I think just the thought of taking a course and writing and exam makes my brothers head hurt.
Anyways, I absolutely love to fish...(but I don't touch the fish or the bait...yuck.) So my mom says "you sure are a fisherman..." (much sarcasim added) Oh well, who cares. But there is just something about feeling a tug on your line and the struggle to bring in the fish. The last couple of years I have mainly caught Rainbow Trout. They are quite the fighters. Then there are the perch which you don't even know that you have a fish but you bring in your line to cast it out somewhere else and you got this little one pounder on your line. Jack fish like to turn and turn and turn in hopes of breaking the line. And I think I've only caught one Waleye and so I don't really remember what they are like. Where we are going though, there are supposed to be a lot of Waleye.
I'm sure I'll get a rockin' tan too if the sun is out...which is what I'm a little miffed about. So I improved my room significantly and then the sun didn't show up on saturday. Somehow that plan just wasn't fair. I am not finishing my room unil I get a day of sun that i can tan...but really it improved a lot.

The Dreaded Room Cleaning

2005-06-23T12:54:00.000-06:00

I'm so busy....but I'm not busy at all. How can this be? I think one benefit has been getting rid of the internet at my house for a while so that I can re-focus and re-group on what is really important...and it is definitely not all those stupid video games that you have to line up three of the same things and then they disappear. Unfortunately I get way to addicted to those.

I find myself lately going into my room to clean it. It's such a disorganized mess. I have papers and clean and dirty clothes and bills and just everything laying everywhere...but ask me where something is and I'll probably know exactly where it is. So...I go into my room, take one look around and think (sometimes say out loud) I can't do this. I either leave my room or lay down and read a book. Well this is going to come to a stop. See Saturday is supposed to be really nice outside and I really want to tan. But I am putting my foot down and saying that I can't tan unless if I clean my room AHHHHHH! What have I done! So tonight I am going to tackle the challenge. And what a challenge it is.
Feel free to keep me accountable...I actually ask you of it.
I will no longer be lazy and procrastinate on this issue.

I've been book tagged

2005-06-18T15:06:00.000-06:00

I've been book tagged by Carebear

Total books I've ever owned:
I have no clue. My guess would be around 200 or so. I've books on a shelf, books in boxes, and books that I think my mom leant to my cousins.

Last book I bought:
I have to go check... Captivating:unveiling the mystery of a woman's soul, by John and Stasi Eldredge. And A love worth giving by Max Lucado. I have been reading Captivating and really like it, but have not yet started A love worth giving. I have too many books on the go.

Last book I read: (and actually finished reading)
It's not about me by Max Lucado. Very good book and a quick read. I enjoy all of Max Lucado's books.

6 Books that meant a lot to me:

Hinds' Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard. A classic. "An allegory dramatizing the journey each of us must take before we can live in 'High Places.'"

Sophie's Hear by Lori Wick. Just a very well written novel that's a tear jerker. Note to others: Don't read when your mom goes away for the weekend and you are very attached to her...causes even more tears. Hehe

Night Come Swiftly bye P.B. Willson (Bunny Wilson)
A book set in the slavery times in the States. I love reading about slavery and how the people lived. It's something that is very dear to my heart and touches me deeply.

Just Like Jesus by Max Lucado. very Helpful and is how I want to live.

Re-Entry: Making the Transition from missions to the life at home by Peter Jordan. So very helpful. It was still hard with reading the book so I can only imagine it would have been ten times worse if I hadn't read the book. I recommend it to anyone who does a missions trip and then comes home. We have so many expectations and hopes that just come crashing down and this helps you to stabilize and realize that most of it won't happen.

Master Potter by Jill Austin. Not done reading the first one but very much like Hind's Feet (as in allegory) very well done and interesting...Lani would agree I'm sure. (that's how I heard about them)
I don't think I'll tag anyone cuz I don't think i know anyone who is left to tag.

To be Real

2005-06-18T14:34:00.000-06:00

As most of you know, when I came back from my awesome adventure I was plopped back into singedom. Wow, what a shock and how many lessons have I learned. First, I think I was a little more than slightly co-dependant, but that's not really what I want to talk about, but also still very much a part of the reason that I'm in the place I'm in. "We" used to do things with other couples. People that I very much enjoyed doing things with, and some of which I don't have very much to do with now. I actually didn't do that much without "him." The friendships that I did make on my own, and managed to keep somehow (not deserving them at all) have been very supportive and ones that i cherish. But with one of them being gone and the other blessed with a wonderful family, we get together about as often as possible, but being back in singledom I find that it's not often enough.
And so to be real...lastnight I had the opportunity to hang out with a bunch of wonderful young adults. Because of God and His divine planning the power went out and instead of playing trivial pursuit 90's version we had the opportunity to sing and share out hearts. We had a chance to open up and be real. I shared how there are people that I want to get to know but I find it a huge struggle to phone them up and go for coffee. Because when we're out for coffee it's like....ok, now what do we talk about. I think some of this has to do with my comfort zone, but this is something that I just don't like doing.
There's no point in looking back, but some of these people I feel that I could have developed friendships with if I was still dating and then take things from there.
And so God I need your help. I'm crying out for friends. Friends that I can go out and have fun with and learn from. Friendships that we can build into eachothers lives. Lord help me to be more real and to know it's ok to be in an awkward spot. Not my will but Yours be done.

There are so many people in our church that have awesome husbands that I so look up to and someday look forward to having one exactly like them in my life. Brothers who make me laugh, and who seem to be able to read me. All these men I think about, when they look at me it's like they have compassion, they see my hurt and feel for me. So I want to recognize these men and bless them so much and let them know I am so thankful for wonderful brothers like these.
Brothers of Honor
Darcy
Kelly
Joe
Chris
Andrew
Kevin
Wayne

And so I have fooled myself

2005-06-12T20:46:00.000-06:00

All these years I knew that my name meant ships port, but I thought that a ships port was the same as a lighthouse. So here I have told people that my name means lighthouse, truly thinking that this is what it means. I believe that God has called me to be a lighthouse, and maybe part of the reason was in me calling that into my destiny. So in making this blog I decided to check what ships port means, and it was in this that I discovered the above.

I am blessed to find that my name means ships port, or harbour. God has called me to be a lighthouse, but He has also called me to be a harbour. A harbour is "a place of refuge and comfort and security." Wow, this calls for some digging deeper which I am so looking forward to.
Thank you Jesus!

Chelsea

Trying to find my wings

2005-06-12T20:10:00.000-06:00

I feel much like a baby bird these days. Like I have just recently been born and found out so much more about myself from My trip to Hawaii and Brazil. I grew so much and had the time of my life. I got home and it was as if I just got pushed out of my nest. Everything that I was used to and loved was no longer there. I so was not ready to fly. So God swooped me up and is constantly trying to get me to fly. He gives me time, but in my opinion not nearly enough time.

I feel like a freaking yo-yo. Ask me where I'm at and I'll have to ask you what I told you the last time we talked. I'm constantly changing my mind and feeling like I don't have any clear discernment on what I should do with my life or with certain relationships or day to day things like buying a car. I believe God is using this for a time of humbling for me. But it's also getting to the point that I don't want to say anything until I know that I know that I know what God is saying.

I feel as though the spirit of depression is really trying to attack me. I WILL NOT RECEIVE IT IN THE NAME OF JESUS!

So, what does a person do when their life gets turned upside down. This is something that I am trying to figure out. Clinging to God is about all I can do.

Chelsea