I have been absolutely overwhelmed lately. Overwhelmed with life, but that doesn't even come remotely close to how overwhelmed I am by my God.
When I sang at Concerts of the Heart I really thought that I had dealt with all the issues and insecurities of being beautiful. I walked down the steps to sit down, that night, and truly believed and knew that what I just sang was true...that God makes me beautiful. I walked like that for a few months atleast.
I just want to clarify that I don't think I'm ugly, I know there was a day when I thought I wasn't nice to look at, but as of the last year I felt that I was just ok.
I guess in order for this to make sense I need to share another journey of my life. For the last 13 weeks I have been on a journey of giving God total Lordship of food and eating. Because of God giving me the strength to lay myself down I have lost 23+ pounds (I find out tomorrow how much more)
People have been noticing and friends come up to me and some are just in shock and say "oh my goodness Chels, you look Amazing!"
So many sisters and girl friends are telling me that I am beautiful and one sister said that sometimes when we get together she just stares at me because she thinks I'm so beautiful.
To be quite honest I find it hard to take. Someone cautioned me not to let it go to my head, but I know that at this point there is no way it can go to my head because how can anything go to my head when I don't really feel that it's true sometimes.
And to help matters more I heard from a source that when asked a certain guy said I was cute! I'm just blown away. I don't know how to take it, but I'm learning to say thank you and to let God work in my heart and have Him confirm and let me know that I Am beautiful.
What is way more important to me is the inside. One of my mom's friends said the other day that there's this glow about me. Thank you Jesus. She didn't know what it was all about, but I have been given amazingly abundant amounts of freedom these last few months in different journeys I'm on and I'm so thankful that it is shining through. I am becoming a whole person again, or maybe for the first time.
A dear sister said the other day that it just doesn't fit. Someone who is so beautiful on the outside, but even more beautiful on the inside. Someone who cares so deeply for others and SHE'S STILL SINGLE! I know it doesn't fit, but it fits into God's plan and that's all I'm living for.
Does anyone recognize me? Does anyone remember the old me? I don't want to make this seem all self-centered, but look at me, remember me, this is not me! Who is this? Who is this? I couldn't have planned this. I wouldn't have dreamed of asking for this.
I AM ABSOLUTELY BLOWN AWAY BY MY GOD!
Of course I'm beautiful, and its all for His purpose! I will use what He has gifted me with for His good so that many may see this light, know Him and follow Him.
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4 comments:
The way that Jesus sees us, the way He feels about us....
In ephesians, paul wants us to grasp how deep and how wide is the love of Christ for us........
I pray that for both of us. As this outward transformation takes place, we know it's only becuase of inward heart changes. It's really weird because I always thought that once I lost weight, I would feel better about myself....not true!!
My security comes from His love.....
You are learning great things! You encourage me to keep going.
Know that I AM ALWAYS there for you...in my heart.
I loved reading this post
Hi,
Wow! You and Sarah have been on an amazing journey. I think what some may mean by you being beautiful is that you're finally letting your true beauty show. You always were, you just didn't think so, so it never showed. When you start letting God look after you and letting Him take control, of course your going to feel better about yourself and people are going to notice. Its not just about the weight loss I'm sure, you're also letting God that is in you shine through, in Him you can do anything. He's letting everyone see Him in you and thats where the true beauty is coming from. If you start feeling better about yourself, any of us, we all start to look better on the outside as well, and I think thats whats happening with you.
May God bless you and continue His work in you.
Oh Chelsea, I have always thought you were beautiful, but I am so glad to here that you are having victory with food. The very first time that my mom met you she thought you were quite beautiful. Sometimes when I talk about you to her, I remind her who you are by saying "you know the pretty one" you are wonderful and amazing. I am free this week do ya wanna hang out. I have no school!
p.s. Maybe I am wrong, but I think it is totally ok for you to let being beautiful go to your head, God will correct you if he thinks it's too much.
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